2 posts tagged “oscars”

7:56PM - Jessica Biel has horrible posture and an ugly dress. On another note, Kate Winslet is the epitome of flawless. Wants to be her.

8:32PM - so embarrassed for hugh jackman.

8:35PM - ...but anne hathaway is hilarious. she's campier than a broadway play.

8:57PM - this is going to be a series of far-too-many standing ovations for the presenters. thanks oscars!

9:03PM - tina fey is my idol. steve martin rules. tina fey, i may or may not want to be you. & by may or may not i mean most definitely. teach me. 

9:07PM - dustin lance black is adorable & touching & absolutely & totally poignant. bravo. also, sean penn is president of his fan club.

9:15PM - blah blah blah, thank you, blah blah, thank you, blah blah, thank you. blah blah blah...thank you. domo arigato mr. roboto...thank you. 

9:32PM - here's where i make hot chocolate because i'm just not that interested. i mean, um, hooray for doing a good job, rando oscar winner.

9:43PM - R. Pattz & the dumb chick from Mean Girls? REACH FOR THE STARS, Oscars!

9:44PM - shots of High School Musical & Twilight at the Oscars? They really are pulling out all the epic wins of '08 tonight. jeez.

9:47PM - I mean, I guess Joaquin Phoenix jokes are pretty hilarious still...even if it's Ben Stiller impersonating him.

9:48PM - Don't get why Justin Timberlake is all about J. Biel. Did I mention already I hate her dress & that she has no personality?

9:41PM - james franco & seth rogen = my dream team. also, mariel & my's respective future-boyfriends.

9:53PM - (Commercial Commentary: i mean, listen, "Fabulosity" by Kimora Lee Simmons, I might have liked those clothes if it was 1996 & I was an awkward & dated 12 year old.)

9:57PM - Hugh Jackman is a one-man musical & he REALLY likes it that way.

9:58PM - Beyonce is always the most irritating and annoying thing, ever.  And a lip-syncing (very poorly at that) Beyonce is the most superesty irritating, ever.

10:04PM - PHILLIP SEYMOUR HOFFMAN...WHAT IS THAT HAT?

10:05PM - Oh Cuba Gooding, Jr.  We hardly knew ye.

10:08PM - Heath Ledger.  We hardly knew ye.  But we all called this one.  oh yeah r.i.p., standing O, crying, etc...

10:12PM - HOLY TEETH.  yes, I am an asshole.  And anyone watching at this moment KNOWS what I'm talking about.

10:15PM - I can't tell if I'm losing or REALLY losing my Oscar polls at work.  I'm digging the ginger's scarf though.  Not his attention-grabbing attempts though.  Why you always got to make a scene, man-who-walks-on-wires?!

10:23PM - Gol-lyyy this gets boring in the middle parts!  Fruit cup, anyone?

10:25PM - Will Smith loves action movies?  COLOR ME SHOCKED...you don't say?!

10:33PM - p.s. Danny Boyle...no pressure or anything.

10:41PM - Oh, see, I thought Eddie Murphy was too busy being a deadbeat dad to do anything...hmph...who knew?!

10:42PM - AGAIN with the Coldplay.  What sort of deal do you have going with the Oscars, Chris Martin?!

10:50PM - They should've let Peter Gabriel perform the whole damned song (Down To Earth)--he so rules.

10:51PM - p.s. these Oscars are dragging like a motherfucker...so ready for bed...must...keep...watching.....aaaaagggghhh

10:53PM - Zac Efron = such a diva.  He was just going to let Alicia Keys walk herself to the microphone.  He just haaaaad to try and show-up the pretty lady.  He's such a pretty lady himself.

10:56PM - Let's see if the Oscars' complete lack of respect for the fact that M.I.A. just had a baby "only" 9 days ago will get her on stage to perform tonight!  Fingers crossed, obvi.

11:01PM - So over the Zefron.  And this awkward musical numbers.  Also, John Legend...there is a thing called "practicing a song" before you perform it.  Still love you though.  You've got the green light.

11:06PM - Hugh Jackman is the Wolf Blitzer of the Oscars. Also, why is it that every time Liam Neeson talks, I think I'm watching "Love Actually"?

11:09PM - (Commercial Commentary: TOM COLICCHIO I LOVE YOU. YOU ARE THE TOP CHEF OF MY HEART.)

11:11PM - In Memoriam with a singing Queen that ISN'T Hugh Jackman?

11:13PM - I suppose all the Hugh Jackman jokes are a bit too easy, eh?  

11:14PM - But we all know I love easy!

11:19PM - REESE...do I spy...PLASTIC/see-thru BRASTRAPS?! NO!!!!!

11:20PM - Wait, Slumdog Millionare won something? You DON'T SAY! They were such Underdog Millionaires! Ba-Dun-Ching!

11:26PM - Shirley McClaine is so cray-cray. Straight-up, shaken, & stirred. Also, how does Halle Berry look that amazing? Didn't bitch just have a baby? She is not a human.

11:28PM - Swear to God if Kate Winslet doesn't win. But they're giving it away because Marie has the envelope in her hands. Didn't the person who won get announced by the person who intro'd them, too?

11:30PM - Sophia Loren is ONE FIERCE BITCH. Talk about the Head Bitch In Charge. That dress is so 1987 and I don't even care.

11:31PM - I just have to say that I hate Nicole Kidman, she has no personality. Like, really. And I don't think that happens because of Botox.

11:32PM - YES KATE THANK GOD. Also, called it. Way to ruin it, Oscar people! This is going to be a good, cryingy-cry speech.

11:33PM - This weird delay thin is really annoying. Side note, LOVE Kate's dad's HAT! FAB-U-LOUS!

11:35PM - I still hold onto hope. Kate & Leo forever.

11:37PM - I also still swoon over Adrien Brody & his weird nose.

11:38PM - Frank Langella is going to win. Envelope tells it all. Annoyed.

11:43PM - I GLADLY eat my words--HOORAY SEAN PENN!!!!

11:44PM - "You Commie, homo-loving sons-of-guns." I love Sean Penn.

11:53PM - And no one is surprised. Except that one random chick who had a total jawdrop. She's probably just being melodramatic. I mean, this is a room full of actors. Congrats Slumdog.

11:59PM - Best part of the night was definitely the previews for all the really good movies coming out this year, ha! Goodnight.