3 posts tagged “friends”
i mean, *insert friend name here* is legit ready to just retire to florida gross, florida hahaha it's true!! florida is the worst ever i have such difficulty thinking of it as a real place with real people let's be serious it's not real there is no way hahahaha you may be right it is a land of make believe, drug dealers/mormons, a town dominated by scientologists, and old people waiting to die that is NOT REAL but i swear i met real people when i was down there for obamalah no you didn't they were figments they were probably planted there by obama and mccain to win a state for the election actors but did you love how i said obamaleh? for the jews in FL? yes thanks i tried a valiant effort, even if it was for the fake imaginary people of florida hahahahahahahaha can we please archive everything you say and make a book out of it?Subtitle: I am vain & like it when my friends compliment my incredible humor:
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Thanks Twitter for crafting my hilarity in 140 characters or less:
Can't stop coughing, what is WRONG with me? I sound like a 3-pack-a-day smoker....or Miley Cyrus. from web alicialutes
carrymyheart@alicialutes If you start st-st-st-stuttering, then you've got the Miley. from web in reply to alicialutes
@carrymyheart The last thing I want is a bad case of the Miley's. They can be so NAGGING. It's the Seven Things I Hate About Flu.
about 10 hours ago from web in reply to carrymyheart
carrymyheart@alicialutes I've heard you're more genetically predisposed to catch it if you have a family history of achey-breaky heart. from web in reply to alicialutes
alicialutes@carrymyheart That must be where I get the urge to shake-shake, shake-shake, a-shake it. from web in reply to carrymyheart
My friends are really funny. I mean, they're not as funny as me (most dayz) but they are way above average on the "How Funny Are Your Friends" scale.
Take, for example, the text messages I receive. Even out of context, they are amazing, hilarious, and/or awkward. So, for purely selfish reasons I give you "Some of the Funniest/Most Absurd Text Messages I've Recently Received":
+ Tom Brokaw's voice is amazing.
+ Is McCain wearing an ear piece? Wait no. I think that's just a wrinkle.
+ You're like a bad Simon & Garfunkel joke.
+ Ur WPM [ed. note: Words Per Minute] is light yrs faster than mccains acient cripple shimmy. his hips lie. he puts the shake in shakira.
+ Your best friend Maggie says, "oh, she's just bein' Lutie"
+ I LOVE Paris Hilton
+ hey.
+ In ur eyes, the light, the heat...? yesh.
+ I just met michael phelps and didn't realize it was actually him and did the most awk thing. Have the best/worst story for you.
+ Why is Colin Colon?
+ BB Obama is so fetch.
+ Sexy Sarah Palin or Regular Type?
+ Totes unfortch
+ Ur the messiah for gays.
+ twist twist shout & out
+ I hope you marry Nick Jonas
+ OMG today I wished I was SuChin Pak.
