3 posts tagged “britney spears”

Dear Britney,
Can I call you that--Britney?  Do you prefer Ms. Spears?  Maybe just Brit-Brit or B?  Well, B, listen.  You know by now that I have an unhealthy guilty obsession with your don't-call-it-a-comeback single.  At various times throughout my day, you can hear me either humming the song and bouncing around my copy-machine (unfortunately I don't have your moves when it comes to the copier.  Also, my co-workers just wouldn't appreciate it), or repeating "womanizer womanizer womanizer womanizer" over and over and (you guessed it) over again while writing stuff about old people.  Now, I know that you've had quite a "Circus" (see what I did there?  Album title tie-in!  I'm so genius) of a life this past...oh...3 or so years (debatable), and I'm sure you've had quite a time with your new medication, new weave, and adjusting to Daddy Spears' watchful eye 24/7, so you might not totally be back "in" the game and all, but, I have a few bones to pick with you about this:

B, you're not fooling anyone here.  You KNOW you can't make an egg, especially a square one...at least not without one of those molds.

I mean, maybe I'm way off base here (and missing my old, cracked-out, white-trash Brit), I mean...this could be a real possibility.  Don't get me wrong, hooray life-altering, getting your kids back, etc...but I can't help it.  I miss THIS Britney:


And the reason this all wraps up and works together is because I think that you can see hints of old Britney in this video, hindered by however many milligrams of Lithium they've got you on now.
Three Things:
-Copy Machine Crotch Shot
-Random, Excessive, Aggressive Hair/head Flips
-The One-Off Booby Shimmy

...The latter two are totally hot mess Britney trying--way too hard--to be sexy.  It's just not matching up to this image you're trying to re-cultivate here.  This ain't you, B!  Be all that you can be, B!  And all that you are and all that makes you you, is hot-mess Britney!  So swing that hair, shimmy your boobies!  Do it to it, you do you, guuuuuurl!  Oh, and the first one is really just a nod to all the times you went sans-panties out in life in general.  Cute, really.  I'm not sure the director realized JUST HOW telling these little details were.  Now go back and watch the video again--you'll totally see what I mean.  She has a look on her face that screams "AM I SEXY AGAIN YET?  AM I?  *hair flip*  WOMANIZER WOMANIZER OH!  HOW ABOUT NOW?  *hair flip*  *hair flip*  YEAH?  MAYBE?!*hair flip*"  You know I'm right.

I KNOW YOU'RE IN THERE, HOT MESSNEY...COME BACK TO ME.  You're a lot more fun to gawk at.  Don't get me wrong, your song is still good--in that so-bad-its-good-way--but I would like it a lot more if you were a bit more tragic.  But I suppose you're a real person and not a plaything.  You're not a girl, not yet a woman, but somehow a lady.  Or you're trying.  Whatever.  Maybe try to like...a lesser degree?  Or call Adnan!  That's definitely a romance worth a ROUND TWO!

Holla Atcha GURL,
Alicia

So I...have a confession to make.  I like [a version of] the new B. Spears single.  Its hilariously titled/chorus-driven title is, "Womanizer."  I know, I can't either.  But Brad Walsh's remix of the song is...better than the original?  In places where the song was awkward or didn't flow, Mr. Walsh was able to polish that up with a little elbow grease (hate that saying...I mean, what does it even mean?  It's also sorta gross.  Just Sayin') and some electro-pop beats.  Oh, B. Spears if you knew you had it so good!

Click here to listen to/download the track!  & check out some of Brad's other music.  It's the goodness.

P.S. I feel I redeem myself in all ways by wearing a vest and Barack Obama shirt.  See?  I'm totes intelligent, respect-worthy, and should be taken seriously.  Seriously.

Via World Entertainment News Network

Britney Spears has confirmed her new album Circus is finished and will be released in December.

The follow-up to 2007's Blackout - was originally scheduled to hit shops later next year.

But rumours suggested that bosses at Spears' music label, Jive Records, were keen to push the release date forward to take advantage of her current popularity.

The "Toxic" hitmaker has won favour with the public, as well as three coveted MTV Video Music Awards, after bouncing back from her public breakdown earlier this year.

And now label chiefs have confirmed that the record will be released on 1 December, to coincide with the star's 27th birthday the next day.

The first single to be taken from the album is titled Womanizer.

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I hope someone recognizes the irony in the fact that B. Spears' new record is going to be called "Circus."  And "Womanizer", eh?  I wonder if this is a jab at anyone in particular?

This post is approved by douchey paparazzi leeches worldwide.